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Thank you
I had accepted that my heart would only feel love that we have for our children, parents, family. Romantic love was lost to me. The giving, and return, of passionate love would be a memory, as lost as the experimental experiences of my youth. When you wrote to me, I answered as a friend would. There was a special glow from you, and towards you, but the idea that you could be my soul mate was not a possibility. I was not looking, hence I could not find.
But as you wrote, and opened to me, my heart opened and my mind questioned. What did I really feel towards this person? Be honest, I told myself. And as we talked I realized you were more than a friend. I knew it was not an affair, or an infatuation. There was no physical contact. When I realized our souls and minds were becoming one, I knew what it was then. It was love. Not a love I had felt before. It was a new type of love (for me). It was as if I had found my other half. My heart, my mind, my soul became one with you.
Could this be so? Could I really be falling in love? Could I have found my soul mate? How could I tell? Questions raised, and questions answered. After 2 completely different lives, in how we were raised, in our family lives, in our youth experiences, in our love experiences, how could we be so matched? Questions raised and questions answered.
Your genetics and environment led you to who you are now. Mine led me to who I am now. And today, in the NOW, we found each other. You had the courage to initiate a contact. Your strength, your spirit, knew something I did not and you brought us together. And I will never be able to thank you, but will always try to find a way.
I love you.
(new bloom- lady slipper)
Been a long time
It’s been a long time since I held a woman.
It’s been a long time since I felt the passion of a kiss,
A touch, a stroke.
It’s been a long time since I walked in the moonlight,
Hand in hand.
Looked in the eye of a love,
And saw love looking at me,
And the reflection of my love looking back.
It’s been a long time since I looked at a reflection of ‘us’
In a pool of calm, clear water:
Smiles bouncing back,
Arms steadying each other so neither falls.
And while these thoughts of the past seem distant,
The thoughts of our future seem bright.
And I can only see you in those reflections of togetherness.
What had become distant memory, faded shades of gray,
Are now alive of what will be.
Because you have lit what is,
And your light is guiding our path.
What I could not see before, is so plain to me now.
You are the moonlight,
Yours is the eye of love,
You are the key to us,
And you are the calm clear water.
I love you.
Happy Valentine's Day
This is our first Valentine's Day as a couple. I am sorry
that I can't shower you with gifts and physical love. But I can offer a
few words from my heart.
When you entered my life, I was transformed from being content, and perhaps
resigned, to a new person. A person in love, full of life, full of renewed
energy, spiritually alive, physically aroused. Your questions, your
spirit, your being took hold of me and woke me. We are very alike in so
many ways. When I analyzed myself, and what I wanted in life, and where I
would be in the future, it became obvious that I wanted to be anywhere you were.
I now can't imagine any future without you.
I know you have many questions about the path, the 'when', the 'how', etc.
But with absolute trust in each other, the path is solid and will never give
way. And I will promise you will always feel like the most beautiful,
sensual woman in the world. Because to me, you are. And you will
always feel that you are the most intelligent person in the room. Because
you are. And I will always make sure that creative spark is alive and
well, because just under the surface you are a raging fire, just waiting to
burst out. And I will never let that spark die or lay still. And
your spirit will soar with eagles, because that's where it belongs.
And some day, when the winds of fate decide we are ready, I will make you feel
like the sexiest woman on earth. Together we will find a level of physical
passion most only dream of. We will let our physical side join our minds
and spirits to make us complete.
And you will know what it is like to be loved. At every level. For
eternity. That you can count on.
I thought I had never seen an angel, until now.
I count the days.
I love you.. And I will love you more tomorrow than today.
Happy Valentine's Day, my love.
Your Eyes
When I looked into your eyes,
I saw what I have been searching for.
It is you, my love.
You are my angel, my soulmate, my best friend,
and hopefully, my lover.
I dream of seeing you soon,
as my dream is YOU.
SM
You are the only one I could ever show these to.
Call it shy, embarrassed, whatever. But, eventually we'll work out together.
So, here's a slideshow. Click for the pic.
The 8th Plane of Love
In the 8th, and final, type of relationship two people find each other after a life time of searching. This is call true soul mate nirvana. This is a pure love in which 2 individuals connect on all levels: the mind, soul, and body. The persons feel an indescribable, irresistable urge to be together. As they learn more about each other, they find coincidences beyond explanation. They share interests, they share love of each others minds, and respect the others insights and opinions. Life seems boring without the other, and they find their minds wandering towards the other when they are not together. This constant desire for each other is caused by a love of souls, similar to the earth’s magnetism. There is a constant pull towards each other, and if they stray too far apart, there is an inverse pull back together. > In each others arms, there is a true sense of being ‘home’. Comfort, relaxation of the mind body and soul. All senses merge together, and they feel as one. It is a feeling of being lost and at the same time found, in an environment of loving awareness. When they join physically he cannot help but moan softly, unable to stop the feeling of complete happiness in the presence of her beauty.
Serenity
There is a calming force in my life. It is a serenity of the soul. It overcomes me when I remember your eyes, those beautiful, clear, pure brown windows to your soul with streaks of pure onyx. When I struggle with an issue that is difficult, I think what you would say, and my heart is settled as I hear you in my mind. When my body says no more, I see your face, your smile, and know I can indeed do it. And I do. When I need help, I call you and hear your voice, and it’s beautiful tenor and grace calms me and puts me at ease. When I am happy, and want to share my joy, you are the one I want to share it with.
The thought of you brings me ultimate happiness. It calms my soul. You are the serenity of my being, and I never want that to end. When I sleep, I dream of you. When I wake, I think of you. When I’m most busy, I will hear your voice out of nowhere, and I smile. You bring peace to my soul, serenity to my existence. My soul mate. My best friend. I will love you until I die, and forevermore.
A PLACE
Anytime
Anytime. Any place.
I have searched for so long,
To find a diamond, a crystal,
A reflection of my soul in an ocean of life.
I have loved and been loved,
Yet you were missing.
When I found you,
The one,
The joy is overpowering.
So it is, anytime, and any place.
I will teach you the joy of just being,
And I will learn from you the same.
We will find life’s treasures
As 2 souls united in the search.
Bound by love,
Inseperable.
Anytime. Any place.
When you call out for me,
I will hear you.
When you look in your heart,
I will be there.
When we are together we will laugh at the moon,
And when we are apart we will count time until …
Anytime, Any place.
That is where you will find me.
Anticipation:
I tingle with anticipation,
Of being with you, of seeing you, of you.
There are times when I tremble just at your thought,
From overwhelming feelings of love,
From the path we are discovering together,
From knowing who you are.
You have changed my life,
My life’s vision,
My perceptions of words like us, love, we.
You will read my eyes, my body, my soul,
And know things I had forgotten or buried.
So I tingle with anticipation,
Of joining with you,
Of being with you,
Of finally touching you.
And you know,
As I know,
That we are in love,
And we shall be one forever.
How Do I Know?
As a boy, I used to kneel on my bed and look out my window at night. And my mind would ask my soul questions. What will you look like? What will you do? Where will you be in 5 years? In 10? In 20? Will you think of great thoughts? Will you be creative?
As I got older, I still looked out the window. Perhaps that window was my way of peering out the window of my soul. And I asked the same questions, and more. Is this all there is? What am I missing? Why is there still an empty place somewhere in me? Why did I have original thought once, but rarely now? Where is my path? In my dreams, why am I alone on an ever disappearing path?
And while my mind may not have known the answer, perhaps my soul did. And maybe that tugging, that constant searching, was its way of keeping the mind from shutting down. Keep asking, it would urge. Keep looking. Never give up. And why my Father’s words kept rolling around in me: “Never say I can’t”.
So I moved forward in my world, living life through a blur of activities. Burying my mind in
minutia of daily life, leaving a space, a gap, a black hole that seemingly expanded as the years went by. I found I could be happy, but never complete. And that balance seemed fair.
The blue of the skies,
The look in my children’s eyes.
My soul can wait,
If I can only fill their life’s plate.
But I could not look out a window any more. Happiness suspended, thoughts of an elusive idea, a remembrance of nothingness. And so I stopped kneeling on my bed and looking out the window. And a spark was extinguished. A final letter to my parents, a scream for help maybe. What am I searching for? Why can I not find what I’m looking for? And a simple answer: “Things will work out- they always do.”
So now I smile,
And look for wonder.
Bury it deep,
And keep it under.
So I went to work. I looked at one. She smiled like me, but lit my heart when she did. There was pain in her eyes. But a deep strength and wisdom as well. And sometimes I nearly burst looking in those eyes: What do you feel? But my mind and heart would not let my soul be understood. “Hush, she is not for you. Do not look for that which you can not have.”
But the soul is strong, and works in the dim backgrounds of our dreams and hopes.
The path for you is still there,
Covered in leaves, buried in doubt.
But bright and clear,
If you look and find a spark.
Then one day, an angel delivered a message. “Remember me”? Yes, I never forgot you. And as we talked my soul began to emerge again: Look- can you not see? And my heart and mind began to awaken. It was a discovery.
And my soul danced in my mind,
And my heart ripped at my being.
She is The One.
She is what you have been looking for.
And my mind, heart and soul danced in the wonder of love. I dreamed of how to make her happy. I search for ways to make her smile that smile. And I want to lift the pain and doubts of yesterday, and replace them with the wonder and promise of now. And in return, as if by magic, she has given me everything I had searched for. The boy’s simple questions have been answered in bright colors and flashing lights. And the heavens look reachable, and the happiness is genuine and deep.
If we lock hands, and never let go, the path is clear. And you will lead sometimes, and I will lead others, but our souls are together so we will remain side by side. And the path will be beautiful, lit by the stars of heaven and the light of the sun and the brightness of our love.
Bodies, minds, and souls,
Joined in infinite love.
It will last forever,
Perfection painting the canvas of our being.
And so I look out windows again. I look out and see you, my love. And you are the answer to all my questions. For you, I will do anything. And I will do it FOREVER.
All my love, all my being, is yours.
MY SOUL
Deep in my being there is a place,
Where no one has been allowed to go.
I had lost the way too,
but I remember it well.
The sun shone most of the time,
The clouds were small, bright white, and puffy.
It was smiles and laughter.
A butterfly, royal blue in color,
Searches for its mate, and they find each other
A thousand times a day.
But there were no visitors. I let no one in.
I told no one of this place.
Until you lit my universe.
You asked the question that opened the door.
And I let you in. Indeed, I begged you to come in.
And now I can find that place again.
And it is there that I find you,
When I am lost I always know where to go.
And you will always be safe there.
Like a small room with many pillows and box fans.
Only 1 may ever enter this place.
And you did.
You're There
When you come home from work,
I want to be the one that greets you.
When the lights go out,
I want to be the one to love you.
And when the night goes out,
I want to be the one you wake up to.
All my love,
SM
The Vision
I close my eyes, and see you in all your beauty.
I open my mind, and feel your thoughts with me.
When my soul hurts, you can kiss my pains away.
That's what love is.
I am there, as you are.
You are here, as I am there.
I love you.
Poem #1 (12/14/01)
When my soul loves you,
My heart swells, and goose bumps flash, I'm hot, I'm cold.
When my mind loves you,
I laugh, and play, and think, and enjoy.
When my body loves you,
I explode in ecstasy, like never before.
And when I love you with all of me,
As I do now,
I realize how lucky I am, what you have done for me, to me.
And I know there can never be another.
There is only one you,
And I will love only that one until days end.
UNTITLED
I 'was'.
Body dead.
Mind dull.
My soul searching.
You thought you knocked on the door.
But I felt the door thrown open.
Air as crisp as a frozen ocean gust,
Seared me back from a zone of numbness.
You whispered a quiet question.
And I heard a shout that shook mountains.
You smiled a slight smile.
And I saw an angel, wings spread, arms open.
I saw love, and felt a love I had not felt before.
My mind began to turn, my body awakened.
And, yes, my soul opened.
I have seen things I never thought possible.
I have learned things I never dreamed existed.
I have felt your touch,
And savored your kiss.
And my being is alive again.
And I will do anything to never lose that.
You have strength you don't feel.
If you doubt, look at what you have done.
Look about you and see what you have created.
And feel in you what I have,
For all that I have is yours.
Never let go.
What I have, my inspiration, my dreams, is us,
What you have, anytime you want, is we.
In this time, in this place…..
In this Now, is a forever that is yours.
Take me
Take me back to the place we were before,
That place of warmth and softness,
And sweat and ecstacy.
Take me back to where I lost myself in you.
Let me look in your eyes,
Ready to explode again,
That place between and within.
Take me to where I can touch you,
And talk to you, love you, hear you.
Breathe in my mouth, lick at my soul.
Laugh at my voice and scream at our love.
Take me there again.
Don't let me go.
Just take me.
Take me there.